Long has smiling been a contention which I struggle with. Years back, someone told me that my expression seems unfriendly to others, even when I personally does not feel that way. My default neutral face turns out to be an unfriendly one. So through these years (~5), I have been contending with myself to make additional effort to smile more, intentionally.
I even openly shared with my missionary team that this is something that I needed attention/reminders on should they see me being “unfriendly”. So even after the mission period at Japan, till this day one of my fellow members still reminds me this when we meet up.
Since changing church, this “smiling thing” have been turning more natural it seems. I suspect this might be due to the proximity of the church, where we are active in doing community pastoring, and there is a need to, for the lack of a better term, “put up a face”. But I do noticed myself smiling abit more. Also, perhaps, since my previous church’s location is quite far from home, I don’t see the need to “act”, or “wayang” as the locals understands it, as the probability of keep running into people whom I try to evangelise is low.
This morning I woke up early, went to a marketplace nearby church to get some chee cheong fun (steamed rice noodle rolls), which I think is the best in Singapore. While on this “pilgrimage”, I noticed alot of people does not smile. What an irony, for one who does not smile himself, started to noticed his surrounding only after he started to do so. God is doing a work in me on this smiling aspect. And perhaps, with His grace and mercy, we can bring His presence even more into our community, and more will start to smile.
yapwright 